Monday, February 28, 2011

The One About the Hungry Kid, Pumpkin Seeds, a Scarf and Priorities.

It's Monday again.

What happened to the weekend?

What happened to the 48 hours that is meant to be Saturday and Sunday?

This is some of what happened to my weekend,

While hubbie surfed and worked, I went from laundry to kitchen to studies and back again.  There were some lovely moments of the weekend though, including markets and swimming for the boys and. . . .

Anzac biscuits - double batch and lucky for me (apparently) that they taste 'almost like Grandma's anzac biscuits.' *phew!*

Peanut and Cranberry biscuits - double batch.
How else does one keep up with lunchbox fillers for kids?
I am not a fan of packeted, processed, preservative snacks in lunchboxes, so I make my own.  I am not totally daggy though, the boys do get the occasional muesli bar/packet of tiny teddy biscuits, but it's VERY occasional.  
I do know that I will need to top up mid-week with a slice and the scary part is the eldest is still 5 years from being a teenager!

Pumpkin seeds that I popped into the oven after the biscuits were done.  Not sure mine turned out like the ones I get from the health food store.  They were ok.

A moment of ta-daaaa!  Another scarf completed to be donated to our local Cancer Ward. This is from some of the lovely donated yarns from my neighbour that moved recently.  I love these colours together, so feminine, and so soft.  It's all 5 ply yarns and was part of a bundle of odds and ends she gave me.   

Here is a close-up of the colours.  It looks sort of shimmery and also in reality although the yarns themselves are not at all shimmery and I don't even know what brand they are because they are all odds and ends and there are no bands, but gosh, so lovely to work with.

This was completed early hours of the morning after laying in bed not being able to sleep the last few nights.  It's driving me crazy, and each night I lay in bed wide awake, with a billion thoughts rampaging through my head, sleep button, far from turning on in my brain.  11 Units to be completed by 9th December neon light flashing disco light style under my eyelids.

I get up, walk through the house, check on my family, sit out the back under the moonlight, wander back inside and pick up my crochet.  It's rather quite soothing, crocheting while the house sleeps.  Its quite calming to hook and breathe.  Something about working my hands, slows down the racing heartbeat.  It gives me time to think, time to sort out my thoughts into little trays and mark them in order of priority.  It makes me stop and think about the strangers that I will never meet that are going to wear the scarf I make for them, and I wonder how their priorities are so much more simpler but more important than my own jumbled mess.  

That's my problem, priority!  I am stressing and stupidly so, yes, I realise that now, I am sweating the little stuff, and I shouldn't be sweating the little stuff, cause NONE of it matters.  

Seriously, who am I?  I am a MUM!  Number one priority - I am a Mum.  

Everything after that should come second.  It's the reason we moved from Sydney, it's the reason we had a family to begin with.  I stayed home on the weekend while hubbie took the boys down to the beach, I got more work done, however, what has happened to me?  I should be spending that time with my family.  It's the reason we didn't have our family straight away, we both worked, built our home, moved in and saved the money we made so that I could be the stay home Mum.  Sure we could have had kids earlier and sure we could have had more kids, but there is no way I could have been able to be that stay home Mum for them.  

There are ONLY 24 hours in a day, I can't change that and there isn't anyone I can pay that can change that, so I need to sort my priority trays accordingly.

Starting with now. 

When I collect my boys from the bus this afternoon, my books are closed.  I am going to hang out with my children.   I am going to be their Mum instead of some psycho freak look-a-like that has a pencil stuck behind her ear and tells them to play quietly while she writes more crap about first aid, tripping over a mat, hazard policy procedures, and scenario what if's.  (Yes, currently my unit is OH&S, and I am not belittling the importance of OH&S, however, I am putting what is important first on my list.)

Seriously, what's the worst that could happen if I don't complete the course by the 9th December?  
Do my ears fall off?  
Do I grow a monobrow?  (oh hang on, already got me one of those)

*sigh* if you have managed to read to *here*, then thank you.
If you didn't manage to read to *here* then I apologise if you had to gouge out your eyeballs.  I am truly sorry.

Do you sweat the small stuff?  Do you let things get to such a state that you can't see straight, can't sleep at night, can't remember what day it is, and when you lock up the house, go back three times, because you cannot remember if you locked the back door/shut the window/turned the stove off?

Just writing this here now makes everything so much clearer, I use my blog to escape alot of stuff lately, and I didn't even realise I was escaping at all.  

Have a wonderful afternoon with your little ones today.

Thanks so much for stopping by my place today.


TK said...

I have got a degree in STRESSING and WORRYING ABOUT STUFF!!!! I spend many a night laying in bed looking at the ceiling, pacing around the house, mindlessly sitting in my front lounge mulling over what if's 6 months hence!!!! Meanwhile my honey hits his head to the pillow and is asleep pronto!! My aim this year is to try and enjoy the moments more and stress the little incidental stuff less - some days I win, other days I lose!! You are spot on wiht prioritising your 'mum' stuff first - you can't get that back, ever!!

ana @ i made it so said...

hi joyce, i think you've written out something that so many moms contemplate. well you've gone beyond that really, and shared your realization of what's truly important to you right now. thank you for doing that. i think this is the sort of thing that is meant by older ladies who stop me as i'm hurriedly rushing through the grocery store when they comment on my lovely children and say "enjoy this time, dear" with a knowing hand placed on my arm. they're telling me to slow down, prioritize, realize that it doesn't last forever. (sigh) ... it's not an easy thing to do, but something that i strive towards as well. i don't want any regrets, you know? i think you do know.

beautiful scarf, by the way.

'Joyce' said...

Thanks so much for your lovely comments. Ana, I have also had similar comments made to me about my little ones too. I can slow the clock down, its totally in MY power to do so. I am not governed by anyone other than my own expectations of myself. I certainly don't wish to fail as a Mum. Who cares about the rest of it, it's only materialistic crap anyways, and doesn't count towards anything substantial at all.
Tiffany, WE CAN do it, I know we can. Have a wonderful weekend at your place.

Anonymous said...

Hello, just stumbled upon your blog and can't help but comment.
Your words just hit the spot on so many level. Being present with the kids! Being 100% there for them, and not distracted and irritable because of all the other stuff that preoccupies us. I have been doing that lately too. I am now spending the 2 hours after they come home from school doing things with them. A game, a chapter of their favourite book, a sewing lesson for my big girl. The evenings are calmer, everyone is happier for it. And all the stuff that I worry I need to squeeze into one day? That can wait another day. We made the choice to have these children in our life. They deserve our undivided love!
Have a great day!